When helping others hurt.

When Helping Others Hurts

In life we have to learn when to say no. People preach all the time about giving, being a blessing and letting God use you to help others. This is all true; however, there is also a flip side to this preaching. As we study the life of Jesus Christ, there were situations where He did not run to everyone’s need. In His human state, he had limitations that prevented him from being able to get to everyone that cried out.

Recently, I was in a situation where I was trying to help someone, but I realized it was hurting me more. I know helping others is not always convenient, but when we start to neglect our God, family and our personal needs, we need to step back and think twice. The question is how do we discern when to situation warrants a “yes” or a “no”? If you are like me, it’s so easy to say,” yes, I’ll do it,” “yes I’ll take you” or “yes I’ll give it to you”. If we don’t stop and think about what we are saying, those yes(s) can become regrets. I felt bad that I had to tell the person I was helping “no” after I had already said “yes”. If I would have prayed about it first, maybe I would have seen the outcome ahead of time. It's not that helping them was so bad, but it’s been the wrong type of help. I allowed my mercy to get out of balance and went beyond the normal call of duty to help them. When I realized I wasn’t helping, it made matters worse.


When I look back over my life, I can recall those people who helped me along the way, but for the most part, everything I have and accomplished was with me and God. There were some things in my life people could not do for me, so I had to suffer alone. But through those times, God gave me a testimony. God wanted all the glory. We have to be careful not to become the” People God”. Yes, we can give some assistance, but we can’t do all the work. Saying NO to people, may always be a challenge for me. I’m just a giver by heart who genuinely loves people. I wish people did not have to suffer. In today’s world, we are surrounded by people who don’t want to suffer for anything; they want everything handed to them. I believe we are in the wrong when we do everything for them. We are taking God’s place.

I saw that God needed to show me balance and trust him more in this area. I need Him to show me who needs help and how to help them. Yes, we are there to meet people’s needs and allow God to use us to bring others to Christ, but not when helping someone brings regrets, ill emotions, anxiety and we begin to neglect our well being for them. I came across an article that mentioned how Jesus did not run to the demands of people. In Mark 1:35-38 it shows how Jesus went away to pray and when people wanted him, He did not move. We have to be careful that we are not distracted from God’s calling on our life. So please keep me in prayer as I pray for you.

Kina DA Poet - Dare To Be Me( Poetry and Therapy all in one).

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